-17/28 Prednisone doses down.

-2/2 Extended Induction Vinchristine doses down. While I was sleeping today, nonetheless.

Slept for several hours today. Slept pretty much through the night last night, with the exception of having to have one metaport replaced. That was painless compared to having the line put into my arm yesterday though. I’ve lost so much weight that the ports have moved around tremendously under my skin so even removing a port then putting it right back in is now not possible without really poking and prodding to see where it moved to.

Karen is my nurse tonight. She was supposed to be my nurse the night I went to the ICU, the one who made the call to send me down, and who checked on me regularly there. She took a week and a half long trip to Greece, and now she’s back. I’m jealous.

There’s talk about starting my Pedalyte back up at 4 AM. A bit nervous about it because I’ve got so sick the last two times they’ve tried giving it. But this time it should be in a much better position. And if they start at 4 AM, hopefully if there’s a problem, it’ll be right at the time when doctors are here are able to monitor me and stuff like that.

Whether or not it works, gotta try something. Can’t wait forever.

–Reid.

-16/28 Prednisone doses down.

I’ve been in the hospital since Saturday the 5th with Pancreatitis. That’ll be two weeks tomorrow without eating or drinking. I can’t quite bring myself to calculate how long I’ve been home total since being diagnosed with cancer, but I can’t imagine it’s very much.

As hopeful as I am that I’ll be able to go home soon, I don’t feel like I’m meeting the benchmarks for what anyone would consider a speedy–or even normal–recovery. I feel like another week would not be out of the question, but unfortunately, I don’t really feel like longer than that would be out of the question either. On the bright side, at least I could hope to finish the Prednisone here without ever taking it orally. That’d be sort of crazy.

If my pancreas (which makes insulin) finally kicks into gear and I’m not on that, I could be drinking juice when I get out. That’d make me happy.

All of my counts are up. Including healthy white blood cells. Things that should be helping me get over this.

I’m still under the impression that I’m going ahead with the one other chemo drug for extended induction today. It’s a very constipating drug, which is just fantastic (note: this is not really fantastic).

Veronica is back today. Over the past few days, Melissa and Denel saw me through the very difficult pain spikes. They were both exceptionally kind and compassionate. Didn’t get out of bed much. Trying to sit up more today. It was hard going from taking walks to needing help to get out of bed again. And I still need it.

–Reid.

-15/28 Prednisone doses down.

I think the other chemo (vinchristine) that I’m still going to receive as part of extended induction is tomorrow.

Spent all day trying to get pain under control. Had to have another set of semi-permanent IV lines (PIC lines that run from my arm to my heart) put in to accommodate pain meds. Took hours longer–and half a dozen more pokes–than it was supposed to.

Still feeling in pain and stoned all the time, not a great balance.

Wanted little more than to drink a glass of water all day. Gluttonously. Could’ve drank a lake. Very dehydrated. On lots of IV fluids right now.

Keep feeling like I don’t know what I want to do–don’t know how to get comfortable, don’t know what I want to do to entertain myself, don’t know anything. Rather hopeless feeling.

–Reid.

-13/28 Prednisone doses down.

Brief post. Very difficult day.

Got new, correct tube put down, relatively easy.

Pain hit 9 or 10 twice today, like when I first came in with the pancreatitis.

Very difficult to get pain under control.

Ran a series of tests about why my pain’s been spiking. Fluid around many organs, going to keep monitoring.

Need to go to bed now. Pain coming back.

–Reid.

A lot of the docs and nurses have been passing around Better Than The Machine and The Guys in 3A. I just discovered that one of my sites’ links to 3A has been blocked by the hospital network for potentially inappropriate comedy.

Awesome.

–Reid.

-12/28 Prednisone doses down.

Initial tube post: Very cramped today. Woke up in lots of pain. This feeding tube is so short that I feel even more tethered than I did before. I am hoping it makes me feel better soon and will be well worth it.

New tube post with additional crappy information: It turns out that the tube is TOO SHORT. They don’t even have a tube long enough in the hospital to make it to where the tube needed to land. That’s why I’m cramping. They didn’t pass the obstruction. They’ve just been adding Pedialyte into my stomach all yesterday, all last night, which is just getting sucked right back out. So I’ve been feeling crappy for no freaking reason.

SO IF I’M LUCKY I’ll get to go have another tube shoved down my nose today.

Oh, and while I’m on about tubes, the freaking tubes in my legs that I’m supposed to give myself anti-coagulant injections through twice every day keep causing massive swelling. So I’ve started giving myself the shots in the stomach. And these aren’t like insulin needles. These are full needles. FULL NEEDLE TUBES.

–Reid.

-11/28 Prednisone doses down.

Not feeling great. Very tired. Sleep now. Will hopefully awaken with a new pancreas. And maybe in the future. With robots.

–Reid.

Just started getting Pedialyte down my tube. It’s basically like Gatorade I think.

Have been feeling pretty crappy all day. Tired, weak, stomach hurts, then I think the amount of painkillers I’ve taken today to cover the stomach problems have snowed me. First day in a few that I really don’t even feel up for taking a walk.

Got an IV out today that had been put in the ICU. So now I just have the two chest metaports (with lots of stuff in both) and the two nose tubes. At least nothing in my arms for now.

–Reid.

Now I have a tube in each nostril. They seemed happy with how easy it was to pass the new tube down past my pancreas, although it is most definitely inflamed.

Not feeling great now.

–Reid.

-10/28 Prednisone doses down.

Waiting to go down and get these stomach tubes dealt with. Getting tubes shoved up each nostril and down into your gut isn’t really something one normally looks forward to (especially after having one up there all week!), but I’m hopeful this will really make some noticeable changes.

I’ve had the opportunity to be taken care of some really fantastic people while here. The doctors and nurses of oncology have been–almost without exception–some of the greatest people I’ve ever been honored to know in my life. They’re warm, gentle, caring, compassionate, knowledgeable, and make me really feel like we’re friends.

Normally, the nurses do not work for more than a few days at a time due to the demanding nature of shift lengths and the work they do while here. They then take a few days off and are back a few days later. This makes perfect sense.

For the past six days, though, I’ve had the same nurse every day. Her name is Veronica. Veronica has given me confidence and stability during a time when I have needed it far more than I could have imagined. With other nurses and doctors I may have joked around more, or felt a greater sense of camaraderie, but Veronica has been a stalwart, unshakable pillar that I could count on for the past week. And it has meant so much to me. Today’s her last day before taking a break, and I realized how much that’s going to effect me.

There are definitely other doctors and nurses here who have gone to bat for me, and whom I love and adore, and who I really truly consider my friends and family now. Hopefully I can write some more about them soon.

My dad just told me the governor of the state of Colorado approached him at breakfast this morning, knowing about my prognosis, and sent his regards.

Sudden rush of information. Going down now. Not going to be any sedation. Transport here now.

–Reid.