Goodbye, JD,

The more I read about you today, the less I wish I knew about your personal life. I have always maintained that I like most artists for their art, and that knowing about artists’ personal lives–be they actors, painters, musicians, or writers–only serves to muddy things up. I have learned that you were many things, Sir, but rest assured, you were never a phony.

–Reid.

Today, after the iPad was announced and before the State of the Union was presented, Anil Dash posted a great analysis of our priorities as a country and as a culture. I highly recommend reading his “Free Publicity: Who do we help?”. Here is an excerpt:

[T]he biggest difference between now and 18 months ago is not that President Obama has gotten elected; It’s that those who support his agenda have gotten lazy about helping in the effort. Remember “We’re the ones we’ve been waiting for?” Well, it seems like a lot of people got tired and gave up on themselves. What if all the energy that went into free promotion for the Apple tablet went into free promotion for what’s been achieved so far, in the hopes of encouraging more achievements in the future?

Big thanks to Dave for passing that on to me.

I thought President Obama’s address tonight was good. It wasn’t breathtaking, but he said a lot of things he needed to say, that I wasn’t sure he would even touch on. He not only spoke of his achievements and nor did he try to pass blame for mistakes he’s made. I felt refreshed to hear him, our President, express disappointment with both mistakes he’s made and mistakes by the party he leads. My favorite line was also the line that made me think there still might be something, however small, worthwhile in American politics for me–not just to see what happens, but to try to help this country in my own way:

“We were sent here to serve our citizens, not our ambition.”

I hope that’s a point of view that others share, and that spreads.

My four biggest issues were all mentioned, even if not as fully as I’d have liked: veteran benefits, homosexual rights, medical care, and the environment. I felt each was an acknowledgment that not enough (or nothing) had been done about each of these issues in the past year. I wish the President would have said “ongoing psychiatric care for each and every veteran” and “equal rights for homosexuals,” but it was at least a new start.

I needed a new start.

–Reid.

iSuspect iKnow what this is about…

–Reid.

It came down to a knockoff Wii, a knockoff Guitar Hero setup (with 13 tracks by Fallout Boy!) and this:

Obviously, any product that makes carpet fun deserves recognition. God bless Walgreens.

–Reid.

P.S. I feel like a regular Will Nunziata.

I’ve been told I’m a little late in recommending this, but I don’t care! It is too awesome for me to stop telling people about it now.

Do yourself a favor–especially if you like, ever liked, or ever had your heart broken by the Star Wars saga (though that’s not even necessary)–and check out this absolutely hilarious review of “The Phantom Menace.”

Not only is it hilarious, but it’s also an excellent guide to what makes a good movie and why “The Phantom Menace” is such a perfect example of what not to do. It’s seven videos long, but you can start and stop and come back to it later if you need to do so. The other reviews on The Red Letter Media YouTube channel (even for movies I haven’t seen or can’t remember) are just as hilarious and insightful.

Awesome.

–Reid.

Marvel at the sight of Christina Reynolds as she attempts to fill her mouth with 25 marshmallows at one time, exclusively for your amusement at seeing Christina Reynolds choke on marshmallows!

This is the second interstitial video for BTTM while we’re hopefully working on Betterrer Than The Machine videos, and man oh man, do I love this video. Ballard directed and edited it and also played the role of “The Director’s Legs.”

We don’t do much slapstick (e.g. I don’t think anyone’s been hit in the head with a chair since 2007), so I was not expecting something like this when I heard Ballard, Carlos and Christina had shot Christina’s idea of trying to fit 25 marshmallows into her mouth. But the night Ballard sent this to me, I watched it over and over and was laughing just as hard every time I watched it. So, maybe we’ll do some more slapstick soon. Or maybe it’s just good to do once in a while. We’ll see.

There is a different take of this that is also really, really funny where, after Ballard asks Carlos if he should get Christina some water, he (really) accidentally tripped on a wire from one of the lights and landed right in front of the camera. I really don’t like to see people getting hurt (hey, now you know the entire backstory of “Scarred by Scarred“–it’s autobiographical!), so I felt guilty for laughing even harder at that take; and boy was relieved when Ballard told me had not sustained any injuries (although, eerily, I had also taken a spill that night and sustained several injuries–too bad no one was filming that, it could have been America’s Funniest Home Video). The group decided there was too much going on in that take with Ballard falling. Maybe we’ll release it as an alternate take to the people on the mailing list or something…

Christina has been coming with new ideas and writing scripts like a fiend lately (a creative fiend?), and like I said, this was her idea. As I heard it, Carlos came up with the idea to jump in and do the Heimlich maneuver. I don’t know exactly what came from which brain, but it all got stirred up in a really funny way in the end. I’m very happy with the level of collaboration right now, especially between Christina, Carlos and Ballard.

Speaking of which, I think tonight we’re going to record an (or some) interstitial(s) with me in it (them) using the videoconference device (computer). I have variously referred to this as the Zordon Sessions, the Wizard of Oz “Pay No Heed To The Man Behind The Curtain” Sessions and The Darth Sidious “Everything Is Going According To Plan” Sessions. At any rate, it should be fun!

The only thing I did for this video was come up with the title. For some reason I can’t explain, I’ve had the name of the movie A Fistful of Dollars in my mind for a few days. I like the name “A Mouthful of Marshmallows,” and I think we should consider ourselves lucky I didn’t call it “Twilight: New Marshmallow” or “Shooting Interstitials At Ballard’s Apartment: The Squeakual” or “Marshmallows: The Gimmick… in 3-D!”

–Reid.

Check out my beautiful new scarf, knit specially for me by my friend CJ Arabia.

I got to know CJ when Dave and I were making The Guys in 3A for NBC’s DotComedy. I always called her our producer, although I’m not sure what her official title was. She was the one who told us what we could and couldn’t do (there wasn’t much we couldn’t do) and she hounded the people with money to get us paid and she was the one who had to tell us that DotComedy was being decommissioned, and therefore, so were we. That all sounds like producery stuff to me. She would also call and check in and was very helpful and friendly.

Fast forward to the first few days of 2010.

CJ knit this scarf during my most recent hospital stay–or probably faster, because the scarf got to my house a day after I did. Those are some mad Flash-like knitting skills. She had asked what color scarf I wanted, and when I said blue, I could not have imagined what a pretty blue it was going to be. The wool was dyed by a family in Uruguay (I think they dyed this wool by choice, unlike some countries where people have to dye wool just for a crust of bread), and I have to say they did a top notch job, those Uruguayans; muy bien, la familia Uruguaya! The scarf is very soft and not itchy and it’s so snugly.

I love this scarf, but not just for aesthetic reasons. It is a great symbol of always having my friends around me, and I will proudly continue to wear it while it’s cold outside, and then when it’s warm, I will hang it on the wall for everyone to see.

Check out CJ’s official knitting blog Where My Knittas At.

Thanks again, CJ.

–Reid.

I have a whole mess of health stuff that I’ve been waiting to post until some emotions about the subject of my ongoing health tribulations can be focused. While that hasn’t quite happened yet, I decided I should “man up” and stop avoiding blogging altogether. I very much regret not posting this particular post earlier in the week, because I really like this week’s new Better Than The Machine video and fear my non-post may have been misinterpreted otherwise. With that disclaiming out of the way, let’s take a look!

In this week’s new video, Carlos and Christina swap embarrassing holiday anecdotes and learn just how subjective the term “embarrassing” can be (it can be very subjective). Ouch.

“Embarrassing Holiday Confessions” was directed and edited by Ballard. This is the first of several short “interstitial videos” that will be released over the next month(-ish?) while The Machines are hopefully working on some more involved videos–writing them, scheduling them and filming them.

Christina came up with several really good ideas that involved she and Carlos in quick videos for these interstitials. She, Carlos and Ballard then really hammered them out and, of the original ideas Christina had come up with, two turned into really funny complete videos. This is one of those two videos, which we decided to release first since it is holiday related, and the holidays are quickly receding too far into the past, or perhaps proceeding way too far into the future. I like this video, and especially Carlos’ delightfully wonderful, straight and miserable delivery. Christina’s “that’s much worse” is super awkward, and putting the title over such a great awkward moment was just perfect.

That said, in my opinion, the other Carlos and Christina video (which will be released soon) is actually funnier. I really like this one, too, don’t get me wrong. The other one, though, had me in tears when I first watched it, and then when I watched it over and over again and again. I’m really excited for people to see it!

I’m happy that Christina and Carlos are stepping up in the void of me not being there full-time, Paul’s shituation and (hopefully) Ballard’s director-but-not-producer role this year. I missed this week’s meeting due to health issues, but I was really encouraged to hear that sketches that Christina wrote, that Carlos wrote, and maybe some stuff I wrote and/or am in the process of writing are going to be filmed next week. That was good news, well received.

I believe that the more people who are writing and submitting scripts within the group, the more teamwork that goes into fine tuning scripts, the more we bounce ideas around, the better we get at being a fully cohesive unit. In this way we have different voices in each sketch, different takes on comedy in each of our heads, but all funneled through the team to produce comedy that is distinctly Better Than The Machine. That makes me very, very excited for 2010.

–Reid.

—————-
Now playing: The Go! Team – Junior Kickstart
via FoxyTunes

I am home from the hospital, but still quite tired and weak.

I must again thank all my friends, whether you’re friends from my physical world or my virtual one, for your outpouring of support. I have been overwhelmed with your kindness and your naming of bar trivia teams after me.

Since my release from the hospital, I’ve actually seen more doctors than I saw in the hospital. There’re all sorts of things wrong with me–all of which, I am assured, will be fixable in some way. It may take quite a lot of time and pain, but it will all be fixed. I’m blaming cancer for all of this. That’s right, I’m calling you out, my Leukemia.

My doctors are still waiting for something to grow in some conclusive manner on one of the many Petrie dishes on which they spread my lung goo. Meanwhile, I still have that unidentified goo in my lungs. I’m getting a lot of much-needed sleep, which is still being interrupted by some really impressive coughing fits. I have not coughed up anymore blood, though, which is a good thing.

We had a great Better Than The Machine meeting this evening that I was able to attend via videoconferencing. We haven’t had a regular meeting in what feels like a long, long time. Everyone was there and we got some stuff sorted out that’s needed sorting out for quite some time. New producer? The newly re-carred Carlos. This is the dawning of The Age of Cabrera! It was a lot of fun getting to brainstorm as a group again and even approaching that level where our creative energy moves seamlessly between us; we’re a little rusty, but we’ll be back in top form in no time. I think we were all missing it, and everyone seemed to be genuinely excited that we’re going to be meeting to write and brainstorm regularly again. It was great just laughing with those guys. It always is (even when it makes me cough up a lung).

Finally, I would be remiss if I did not draw your attention to Matt Gallo’s memoirs, which have just been published. Tonight, he gave Better Than The Machine a world exclusive preview, indicating that his memoirs “might include punctuation.” No, that’s not right. I am lying. Matt wouldn’t give us any preview, so I made that up. He is a shrewd business man, that Matt Gallo. “No freebies,” that’s his motto… that I also just made up. You can–nay, must!–buy the book that includes Matt’s memoirs on Amazon.com right now (note: this is a real link to buy this real book on the real Amazon.com, not something I made up, nor another absolutely stunningly clever link to an image). Congrats on being published, Matt!

I think that’s everything I’m willing to say under oath right now.

–Reid.
Not necessarily as clever as advertised. Hospital playset sold separately.

The cage door swings open wide, and this bird unfurls its wings.
It flies and sings and it settles into its nest for the night, tired, but dreaming about tomorrow’s possibilities…