New Smosh: Failed Military Weapons
Tuesday August 03rd 2010, 5:55 pm
Filed under:

Weapons of Megalomaniacal Diabolicalness
or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Weaponized Dolphin!

Smosh: Failed Military Weapons

Featuring: the ELIPTON CANNON, for those familiar with the ELIPTON CANNON, those who introduced me to the ELIPTON CANNON, and those who can say, “Is not my profession to know about the ELIPTON CANNON!“*


*This is an inside-out joke.

New Smosh: Odd Animal Couples
Tuesday July 27th 2010, 5:04 pm
Filed under:

Have you ever wondered if a snake and a hamster would make good roommates? Me neither. Here’s some new Smosh:

Smosh 06: Odd Animal Couples

Featuring a frog jumping around with a mouse on its back. What else could you possibly need to know? Mother Nature provided the animals, I provided the jokes.


New Smosh: People, Places & Things That Need New Names
Friday July 16th 2010, 1:15 pm
Filed under:

Smosh: Stuff That Needs Renaming

I wrote and did all the art for this, except for “Donald Duck,” for whom credit goes to my editor C.J. Arabia. Donald replaced Mel Gibson, who I had as the last entry. I will admit that rearranging some stuff was a good editorial decision… it plays better like this. I’ll get it on my own soon. Thanks C.J.!


My New Comedy Writing Job & “Woman Wins The Lottery 4 Times!”
Sunday July 11th 2010, 10:40 pm
Filed under: Friends,

I’ve got a new gig writing for humor website is the homepage of a comedy duo called, as you may imagine, “Smosh.” There are more than 400,000 registered members on the site, which rakes in over five million hits each month. Smosh’s YouTube channel is the fourth most subscribed to channel of all time. For some perspective, Smosh’s channel has 1,624,405 subscribers while Better Than The Machine’s channel has a *ahem* respectable 2,866 subscribers. So the number of BTTM subscribers isn’t even close to seven digits yet, big deal! Millions of fans… who wants to have to respond to all that fan mail, anyway? Not… not BTTM… that’s for sure. Yeah…

In addition to a pretty steady stream of smosh from the famous-on-the-Internet duo, has a handful of comedy writers who also contribute articles to the site. I am now one of those way less famous-on-the-Internet writers. The material we write adds more funny content to just the site; it’s not written for, or directly linked to the two guys in Smosh or their videos. The pieces we write, though, are intended for the same audience, so we write in a voice that appeals to that audience. That voice is different from my personal comic sensibilities and, in many cases, is totally outside my sense of humor altogether. Which isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it’s quite a good exercise in adapting to someone else’s voice, which is a big part of being a professional staff writer.

I got this job entirely thanks to my very thoughtful friend C.J. Arabia. C.J. is the former editor of NBC’s DotComedy who gave Dave Burdick and me the opportunity and the support to produce The Guys in 3A.

I wrote this article (and Photoshopped the images) a few days ago. I feel like it’s approaching a good balance between my sense of humor and the senses of humor of the audience. It’s pretty silly.

Woman Wins The Lottery 4 Times!

What’s perhaps sillier than the article itself is that a lot of people seem confused as to whether this story, with the silly pictures and everything, is real. So let me just clear this up: the news about some lady winning the lotto for the fourth time is true. But the rest? Not true… to the best of my knowledge.