FIVE MONTHS TO GO.
Sunday December 12th 2010, 10:32 pm
Filed under: Leukemia, Word Nerd

(updated 12-13-10: see end of entry)

FIVE MONTHS TO GO.

The title of this entry is the way I noted today’s significance in my phone’s calender. From here on out, the capitalization and punctuation will only get crazier, so be prepared. As of Sunday December 12, I have five months of chemotherapy treatment left to undergo before I’m done. This is the last occasion of this sort to celebrate this year. In a few weeks, when someone asks when I’ll be done with chemo, I’ll be able to respond, “This year.” And then they’ll scuttle off mumbling about how that doesn’t sound so rough.

The past few months seem to have flown by me. That probably sounds like a good thing for someone being treated for cancer, but it hasn’t been for me. It’s given me the feeling of being a passenger in a car going faster and faster and seeing that the driver is not going to hit the brakes in time to stop the car before we accelerate right into that brick wall. The security of being told what to do, the warmth of being at home and cared for and being able to put off important decisions about life after May 12, 2011 are fast approaching their end. I expect it will be rather startling.

Don’t get me wrong–I certainly do not want to be on chemo forever. I don’t want to have leukemia again. I don’t want to have to fight against my body to stay alive ever again. But at least those things are black and white. Cancer = BAD. Life After Cancer = ¿COMPLICATED?

I’ve been sick and I’ve been sleeping a lot. Perhaps this is to make up for all the time I couldn’t sleep at all. This is definitely a big part of feeling that time is slipping away. Having four hour long days has got to affect the brain’s internal clock in some weird way. But I’ve also grown lax in keeping up quick notes in my calendar about what I’ve done on any given day. I haven’t been blogging. I haven’t been writing. I’ve been making excuses. Yes, I know and I agree that getting well is my number one priority every single day, and that sleeping 32 hours a day might be what my body tells me it needs to do right now. But that doesn’t mean I can’t write at least a measly 140 characters a day. I don’t want to look back and regret going silent at the end. I want to remember each day and what it felt like, and how it was different than the day before and exactly what I felt like five months from today.

So I’m going to try as hard as I can to bang out at least 140 characters each day. As this is not a New Year’s resolution, it might actually get done. I’ll call it my Five Months To Go resolution.

UPDATE (12-13-10): When I wrote that I would “try as hard as I can to bang out at least 140 characters each day,” I didn’t mean to imply that I’d be trying to tweet once everyday. I meant that I want to write more everyday than the amount of characters allowed in one tweet. I’m sure there will be days when I can only manage to write a tweet. In fact, I bet there will be days when I can’t write even write 140 characters to fill a tweet. At the very least, I’m going to try my best to write everyday.

See you tomorrow Internet,

–Reid.

—————-
Now playing: Scala And Kolacny Brothers – Creep (Originally By Radiohead)
via FoxyTunes


2 Comments so far
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So remember, even if you plan on writing a tweet a day, it is currently in legal doubt whether you can copyright an individual tweet. Therefore do no write a book in twitter unless you are willing to place it in public domain

Comment by TWDIndustries 12.13.10 @ 7:39 am

I think I heard that. Frankly, I don’t understand why that is. It certainly seems wrongheaded to me.

The good thing, though, is that I don’t plan to write exclusively on Twitter. I wrote an update to this post and basically the same thing in my next post.

Thanks for the head’s up!

–Reid.

Comment by Reid 12.14.10 @ 4:24 am



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