Giant Feet Feelin’ Fine!
Friday December 28th 2007, 2:19 am
Filed under: Leukemia

I had some friends visit me in the hospital tonight which was very comforting. Lifted my spirits and really had a wonderful time just sitting around chatting with some people I haven’t been able to see in a long time. Reminded of what wonderful friends I’ve made over the years and how lucky I’ve been to keep them.

However, as they were leaving, I noticed that my legs and feet have swollen to an absurd level and I freaked out! I feel like they’re double the size of what they normally are. I’m a big guy, but have always had skinny legs and feet. These things look like glazed hams!

After a quick inspection, I was assured that there is no clotting or sign of infection or anything like that, but that due to my lack of movement (for all the myriad reasons from the chemo), I have to try to keep my legs up or else all the liquid just sort of saps downwards. This is good to know and easy to deal with! Right now I have some stylish leggings on to help diffuse them a bit and am kicking them up comfortably.

And actually despite having weird elephant-like legs, I felt up to–and really quite motivated–to walk around the room and clean up after people left. It felt good to move some stuff around for myself and get some stuff done. It wasn’t anything major, but it felt good to feel good enough to do minor tasks on my own.

Again, I want to emphasize that coming to terms with taking painkillers today was a major breakthrough. I’m not going to get addicted, I’m not taking them for fun, and hell, I’m in pain. I’m not going to be in pain like this forever, so I won’t have to take them forever. I feel like I can function a bit better now.

Had an ultrasound today that showed I don’t have any stones or organ infections or anything. All good news.

Tonight’s late night bilirubin test will determine what happens with my chemo tomorrow. I still think my eyes look pretty yellow, so I’m betting on some sort of modification of the plan. That’s fine–I certainly prefer not to have my body poison itself–and as has been explained to me, we can safely delay or reduce the treatment.

Here’s hoping I feel better after chemo tomorrow than I have in the past few weeks. At least I can say that at the night farthest from my last chemo, I feel better than I’ve felt all week. I have something to look forward to: I know I can achieve feeling better. It does happen.


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