Methotrexate Makes Landfall, I Attempt To Write A Short Entry
Thursday December 16th 2010, 11:47 pm
Filed under: Friends, Health (Not Cancer), Leukemia

The methotrexate I took last night hit right on time, at about 7:30 this evening. So things short I try write.

-Rushed to fix Jason’s company email as he was getting ready to leave for Atlanta first thing this morning. May have subconsciously broken it on purpose so he’d have to come back soon. I kid, I kid.

-It was actually conscious sabotage.*

-Talked to my oncologist, who isn’t concerned that my recent odd paralyzed internal organ annoyances are signs of some great body shut down. However, he agrees they are odd this long after my last infusion. Yet another classic Reid Levin head-scratcher©. Still going in for vincristine on the 29th, but will reevaluate with him that day if I will actually be infused.

-Having trouble making these decisions, especially because everyone wants me to do whatever it is I want to do. What I want to do is not have anymore permanent damage to my body AND I also want to not have cancer ever again. I realize that’s a lot to ask for, but I don’t care, it’s what I want. I think some other people–not all, but some–are afraid they’ll give me bad counsel and so they give me none. I don’t blame them, knowing I’d never forgive myself if I chose something that one day seemed to lead back to leukemia. Not that I’d feel that way toward anyone else.

-Continued cleaning closet. Angrily commented aloud several times about what a teenager my 16 year old self was for improperly storing things like photo negatives and personal feelings.

-Hit by methotrexate at about 7:30 this evening and hope my better health this week will lead to a faster-than-normal recovery.

-Haha! Just kidding, good health has never stopped chemo from doing whatever it wants. Oh man, I really had you going there for a second.

Okay that’s it, my brain hurts. Get out of my way, Internet, I’m going to bed.


Now playing: Guster – On My Own
via FoxyTunes

*This is a lie for the sake of a joke, just in case your email really isn’t working, Jason, and you confuse this for an admission of guilt.

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