Sorry… I Think I Might Have Forgot To Tell You That I’ve Been Home From The Hospital For Awhile.
Monday November 25th 2013, 11:55 pm
Filed under: Health (Not Cancer), Me, Myself, and Reid

Actually, come to think of it, I definitely forgot to tell you that I’ve been home for over a week. Please forgive me and know that, more than anyone else, I am most sorry about this to you, whose opinion and trust is by far the most important to me of anyone’s that reads this blog. The good faith and trust of all those other peons that read my blog isn’t nearly as important to me as is yours.

Staying in the hospital was extremely exhausting, as anyone that has ever stayed in a hospital can tell you. Leaving the hospital was extremely painful, which I’m fairly certain is not nearly as universally true as the exhausting aspect of staying in a hospital. It turns out–get this–that all those electrodes they superglued to my head when I first arrived had to be removed before I left! I don’t recall anyone making even the slightest mention of getting all their equipment back until I was all dressed and ready to go.

But, hey, it’s fine, no problem, people forget to mention things all the time. It turns out there’s a very advanced, finely-tuned, and highly effective method of carefully removing electrodes from patients’ scalps, so as not to damage any of the electrodes’ sensitive receptors. I can only imagine this technique is a highly guarded secret taught, practiced, perfected, and passed down by its worthiest of practitioners. It involved two steps: 1) the electrode-removal-practitioner wincing, as if in painfully deep concentration, and then, 2) that person yanking really, really hard. I must boast that some of my skin victoriously stayed attached to my head, but, in the end, it was pretty much a total blowout on behalf of Team Superglue.

Okay well that’s it from me, I’m tired of this and I’m going to bed. Please note that honesty found in the preceding sentence is just the kind of hard-hitting truth you can always* rely on from Reid Levin Dot Com Dot Net.

I promise I’ll follow up this blog post soon by writing more about what happened in the hospital in regards to, uh… well, any of the medical reasons I was actually there in the first place. It wasn’t all Dr. Poison, Dengar, and jelly beans!

In fact, there were no jelly beans at all…! Bum BUM BUUUUUUUMMMM!!!

Yours truly,

Cliffhanger Writing Expert

*Legal Disclaimer: well, once in a while, anyway.

2 Comments so far
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Glad you are home, Reid.

I imagine the feeling of having electrodes ripped off your scalp is somewhat like having braces removed. My teeth “won” but I swear I wasn’t sure of that at the time! Some days, when the oral hygienist decides to take on some of the glue still stuck to my teeth, I’m still not. :D

I really hope that your epidermal sacrifice provides yields useful data.

Comment by Jen Murphy 11.26.13 @ 12:23 pm

Team Superglue: Getting under your skin by any means necessary. Yikes. I’m glad that’s over and that Team Superglue ran off into the night. Presumably with the jellybeans.Welcome back!

Comment by Krista Harris 11.26.13 @ 4:15 pm

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